May 19, 2023. There I was, laying facedown on my front lawn and minding my business, when suddenly I heard my husband’s car pull slowly into the driveway and stop a few feet away from my head.

​“What are you doing now?” Mr. Van Geffen said, smirking through the car window as I earthed peacefully.

May 12, 2023. I write this to you from my annual silent retreat. The one where I promised I would not do any work. So essentially, I am disobeying myself, but I do what I want because I’m a Spicy One™.

May 5, 2023. I’m sure you’re not surprised when I tell you that I hear some wild and crazy stories out on these internet streets! And they sure do ramp up when Mother’s Day approaches.

Kennedy remembers staying home with her 6-month-old and 2-year-old on Mother’s Day because her mother-in-law insisted her son take her to a white tablecloth restaurant…alone.

April 28, 2023. Did you know that the founder of Mother’s Day ended up hating the holiday she created? That's right, once it morphed into a consumerism Hallmark day, she was out!

When Anna Jarvis (founder of Mother's Day) spent years lobbying to get the day federally recognized, she envisioned a contemplative time, a liminal day of remembering one’s mother and expressing gratitude for her impact. A day to pause and restore.

April 7, 2023. Did you take my temperament quiz last week? If so, how did it affect your perceptions of your child?

Something magical happens when we can see our child’s temperament as morally neutral instead of wrong or less-than.

March 31, 2023. My client, Savanah, didn’t need a quiz to describe her daughter as, “Nonstop. Always touching things. Falls apart at bedtime. Won’t go to sleep. Unpredictably hungry at times. In public, she hangs on me, hides behind me, and refuses to speak to or interact with anyone unless she’s comfortable. It’s so frustrating! What am I doing wrong?”

Savanah wasn’t doing anything wrong and neither was her child. These descriptions were accurate but essentially just neutral observations of her temperament.

March 24, 2023. We feel a different kind of shame when our child attacks us during a meltdown. Some if it stems from the fact that we would have acted out against our own parent growing up. It wasn’t safe to feel our feelings and lose our cool like that!

Unfortunately, parenting an out-of-control, aggressive child is a big part of raising a Spicy One™.

March 15, 2023. I returned this week from visiting my parents in Pawleys Island, South Carolina.

When I walked in the door, who do you think was the most excited that I was home? Well it was Wally, of course! Wally, my sweet, delinquent fluff ball of a Wheaten Terrier. He was all over me with excitement!

March 10, 2023. I remember the first time I watched a new mom friend use the power of reflective listening with her overheating child.

I think she said something as basic as, “You do not like waiting when your cousin is using the microphone.You like bringing it all around the house and it belongs to you.”

February 17, 2023. In case you missed it, the assignment was to write a beautiful truth about your child every day from February 1-14. Then, either gradually or all at once, post these truths on your child’s door or mirror.

February 10, 2023. I had a fist fight with my 7-year-old niece last month. We were physically fighting for control of a bottle of melatonin gummies, both our fists clamped tightly around the supplements.

She wanted to gulp down a second gummy, and I was holding a hard limit.

But my limit was a little too hard. As I impatiently twisted the bottle from her surprisingly strong fingers, I felt my nail slice across her palm.

February 3, 2023. "My husband screwed up. He showed me how little he actually knows me."

At least that’s how I could tell the story if I let my negativity bias do the narrating. Mr. Van Geffen’s crime was to bring me home this colossal flower arrangement for my birthday.

January 13, 2023. Despite the warning from my prior psychiatrist to keep my condition a secret (or risk discrimination), I tell anyone who asks that I have ADHD.

January 6, 2023. What is this generation’s obsession with forcing you onto a video call while they unpack or take their make-up off? Everyone else can hear your entire chat and it’s not the most connecting experience, since you can plainly see that they are otherwise engaged. Needless to say, the conversations were not epic except for the moment she leaned into the camera and whispered, “I’m so glad you are my mother.”

December 31, 2022. With all the extra together time, the teens have been rolling their eyes and telling me to “chill” like it’s their j-o-b.