MOSO® is currently closed until September 2024.

Join the waitlist here.

Or pre-register below to save $100.

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Keep your cool and cultivate warm connection with your intense child.

Eight transformative weeks of video lessons, LIVE coaching calls, accountability, and online community.

Curriculum will not be released until Fall. Pre-register today to save $100 off. You will get emails closer to September when the course opens for general admission.

How do I know if I have a Spicy One™?

Click the link above to find out!

Is this you?

>> You feel ill-equipped to parent your Spicy One™ gently because most parenting tips don't apply to your high energy, independent child.

>> You are emotionally drained from walking on eggshells because of their extreme emotions and unpredictable outbursts.  

>> You are discouraged because your child’s explosiveness feels like it’s ruining the family peace, as well as their siblings’ childhood.

>> You feel stuck between worrying that you are dimming their light with harsh discipline, and yet not providing enough structure.

>> You worry about their future as an adult. Will they be able to keep friends, a job, or a relationship?

You are NOT the only one!

You can learn how to be a safe, loving space, no matter how your child behaves.

You know the kind of parent you want to be.

  • A mom who responds thoughtfully rather than reacts randomly.

  • A mom who is peaceful and able to stay present for the big emotions.

  • A mom who builds a lasting relationship based on respect and love.

  • A mom whose kids will choose to spend time with her as grown adults.

  • A mom whose child feels seen and loved for who they are, rather than for who you want them to be.

But how do you get there?

Hi, I’m Mary Van Geffen,
and I’m a Mom of a Spicy One®.

Let’s be clear that parenting my iron-willed Spicy One™ did not come naturally to me. I had no idea what it looked like to stay tender in the midst of defiance and unexplainable explosive emotions. In the early years, there was a lot of yelling, disrespect and anger… from both of us.

Then, when my Spicy One™ turned 5, I started a life-changing spiritual journey to see the goodness of my child. I was determined to stay calm, kind and firm no matter what they were doing! This deep work into my own childhood and non-violent communication techniques allowed me to make space for the exceptional young adult my Spicy One™ has become.

My great joy is to now serve families struggling like mine did and support them in their own healing journeys. I’ve coached hundreds of moms across the globe to transform the relationship they have with their larger-than-life kids.

No one should have to do this alone and lonely like I did.

I want to normalize the intense spiritual work of staying gentle on this spicy journey. I want to help you tend to the angry child in front of you as well as the scared child within you. 

Together, let’s quiet the noise of the judgmental world that would make you feel unprepared for this big job or would blame your child for their struggle.

My mission is to protect kids from being called brats or being written off because the adults around them don’t yet know how to tolerate the tension and stay in their most loving self. 

I am called to lighten the load of moms with the hardest assignments. I want to normalize the intense spiritual work of staying gentle on this Spicy journey. 

Because private one-on-one coaching isn’t accessible to most moms, Moms of Spicy Ones™ is designed to bring you the learnings from hundreds of my clients’ journeys without the custom price tag.

How would it feel to…

>> Set boundaries without crushing your child’s spirit?

>> Let go of the weight of your mom guilt?

>> Validate your child’s feelings instead of ignoring or mocking them?

>> Let your child know they are seen and heard?

>> Stay consistently composed and compassionate in the chaos?

>> Bring playfulness and laughter to the outbursts and fights?

“I'm so thankful I took a chance and made this INVESTMENT in myself, my Spicy One™, my mild one and my spouse. Really this course has helped make EVERYONE'S life more enjoyable and I'm proud of myself for doing this work!”

— Katie G., Fall 2022

  • In this 8-week course, you will...

    Gain confidence in your own parenting intuition.

    Create a safe space for your child, no matter how they behave.

    Set firm limits without tearing your child down.

    Find creative ways to connect with your unique child.

    Know when to hold a boundary and when to ease up.

    Increase your compassion for yourself and your Spicy One™.

    Learn to love exactly who your child is and be proud of the parent you are becoming.

    The next cohort curriculum drops In Fall.

    Payment plan available.

    Join MOSO® for $399

“This has been the best source of parenting support I have found in my nearly 10 years as a parent. I felt like I wasn't alone, that I have tools to help myself and my whole family. Honestly lots of it felt like things I'd worked through in counseling, I enjoyed seeing how that ties into parenting.”

— Jermaine D., Fall 2022

“DO IT!! This course will be like nothing you have tried before. Other courses may touch on what it is to parent a spicy one, but no other course, book or webinar really, truly gets what you're going through. Mary sees you, she lives it, has parented the spicy child. She brings in so many perspectives and tools together in one place. This course gets to the foundation which is you, the mom. It helps you to move towards becoming whole and certain in how you show up as a parent so you can lead, guide and disciple/teach this spicy young one. It also gives you practical, usable strategies for how to parent your spicy one in a way that works for the spicy kid.”

-Jenifer, Fall 2022

There are four components of MOSO®

  • Video Lessons

    Weekly pre-recorded video lessons are available each Wednesday to watch at your leisure. These lessons are the bulk of the class material, and take about 30-60 minutes to watch each week. Your partner is welcome to watch with you!

  • Live Group Calls

    These optional Zoom calls have three parts - additional teaching, breakout rooms for discussion, and Q&A time. All calls are recorded for those unable to attend live.

    8 Tuesdays in the Fall.

    Plus 3 LIVE rapid fire Q&A Zooms

    DATES RELEASES CLOSER TO FALL.

  • Community

    You’ll have plenty of support throughout the course. Enjoy the release that comes with hearing how other MOSOs handle their little firecracker. It’s not just you!

    Meet with an optional accountability partner.

    Invite your co-parent to take this journey with you via a short weekly video from Mary letting dad know what you are learning.

  • MOSO® Journal

    Worksheets that accompany the video lessons provide space for reflection and further processing of the course material. Each week includes action steps to solidify your learning.

Plus, you get lifetime access to the MOSO® curriculum!

 
 

“It was all around a wonderful self-discovering journey. I was given permission to let go of control and to get playful. That is so much of a better fit for me as a person.”

—Shannon R., Fall 2022

Take it from these past students of MOSO®:

Here’s the week-by-week breakdown.

  • Week 1

    You Are Not Alone

    Being a mom to a Spicy One™ can feel so isolating. This week we identify and validate the overwhelming responsibility and opportunity of raising a Spicy One.

  • Week 2

    Are You Spicy Too?

    As moms, we sometimes make conflict even more combustible. This week we identify and take responsibility for where we make things more difficult by adding fuel to the fire.

  • Week 3

    Your Childhood Needs

    We all have an Inner Child who needs attention, just like our Spicy One™. This week, we articulate our unique childhood experiences so unwanted patterns are not repeated.

  • Week 4

    Listen to a New Voice

    Self-sabotage is a normal, yet destructive, part of the parenting journey. This week we name default negative patterns in our mind, set them aside, and then identify our wisest, most compassionate inner voice to be our new guide.

  • Week 5

    Big-Picture Postures

    Effective leadership begins with a well- thought-out plan. This week, we define what successful parenting looks like and learn how to add the magic of rhythm to calm our chaotic child.

  • Week 6

    Setting Intentional Energies

    It’s natural to want to control your child’s behavior, but it’s not effective or connecting. This week we shift the focus to the higher purpose of being in charge of yourself, staying curious and cultivating delight.

  • Week 7

    Spicy Parenting Principles

    Your child is highly sensitive to your approach. This week, we level up our communication skills and emotional literacy, as well as access the wisdom of the body.

  • Week 8

    Boundaries School

    Sometimes despite your best efforts, it all goes horribly wrong. This week is learning how to repair, grow and feel even more connected after conflict. We’ll also look at how to set limits with those who don’t approve of your parenting approach.

Moms of Spicy Ones also includes 2 months of bonus access to my three most popular classes!

  • Kind: Gentle Parenting 101

    Effective gentle parenting techniques to replace yelling, shaming, and punishing with respect and warmth.

    Learn four E.P.I.C. communication skills to help your child cooperate and feel connected.

    Allow me to model the tone and posture you want as a friendly and effective leader in your home.

    Praise for this class:
    ”I'm like a kid sometimes in that I don't need a list of don'ts, I need to have the right ways modeled for me. This gave me some great examples on actions I can take, and the mental visuals I need to remember them.”

    -Amanda G.

  • Calm: Self Regulation 101

    Use your body to ground yourself in the midst of chaos, defiance and uncontrollable emotions.

    Note: KIND parenting techniques only work when you know how to be the calmest person in the room. Learn to build your custom calm down recipe based on your unique nervous system.

    Praise for this class:
    "I love how this course covers basically all learning styles, and has us to use our strongest learning style as the "meat and potatoes" of our Calm Down Recipe. I thought I'd be able to predict the bulk of the course (being a frequent IG follower), but I learned many new things!”

    -Chrissy H.

  • Tweens & Teens

    Kids growing up too fast? This course is designed for parents of tweens & teens focusing on how to navigate the parenting shifts that come with puberty. It teaches effective communication techniques and ways to enjoy the journey of raising adolescents, free from crippling fear and dread.

    Praise for this class:

    “"I would highly recommend this course. It offers incredible insight that shows all parents practical and easy ways to improve relationships with their children. What we all want. It shows how to have grace and a quiet strength to disarm “spicy” children. I love that she includes play as a child’s/teens love language.”

    -Kate

  • Here’s everything that’s included:

    Moms of Spicy Ones® (Lifetime access) - $400

    40+ recorded videos
    MOSO® Journal - $50

    8 Live coaching calls - $800 (see list of dates below in FAQ )

    Reflection & Community Chat Board - $100

    DOSO Alerts - $200

    Eight weekly 3 minute videos to alert your co-parent (if you have one) to what concepts you are learning

    Roster of Moms of Spicy Ones living near you! -priceless!!

    Kind Class: Gentle Parenting 101 (8 weeks of access) - $50
    Pre-recorded class
    Worksheets

    Calm Class: (8 weeks of access) - $50
    Pre-recorded class
    Worksheets

    Tweens & Teens Class: (8 weeks of access) - $99

    Pre-recorded class and worksheet

    3 Live Rapid Fire Q&A’s - $150

    Get your anonymous questions answered here.

    Dads of Spicy Ones Check-In Call $50

    FULL VALUE: $1,949

    PRE-REGISTER TO GET IT FOR $399

    Registration for MOSO® saes your spot at a discounted rate for Fall.

    Purchase Now!

“I was surprised at how robust the coursework was, and how in depth it is. Often with these courses (I’ve purchased various parenting courses), there is not a lot of groundbreaking material. MOSO felt super informative and easy to digest.”

— Samantha, Fall 2022

Moms of Spicy Ones® works for all kinds of Spicy. Here’s why…

  • Shame-Free.

    When you are trying to find your footing with a counter-cultural child who will NOT comply, you are bound to make some big mistakes.

    I’ll share my parenting lows right alongside you, and give you lots of space to grow, without judgment or condemnation. This is a safe space to be a real human parent who has real human challenges.

  • Inclusive.

    This class is for any mom whose child is difficult to parent regardless of whether your child or yourself is neurotypical or neurodivergent.

    We welcome all kinds of moms regardless of race, color, age (yes to grandmoms!), national origin, religion, sexual orientation, gender identity and/or expression, status as a veteran, or disability.

    You don’t need a diagnosis or an IEP to make life-changing adjustments in your home. You can shift how you show up as a parent whether or not you are medicating your child, in family therapy or surrounded by child development professionals.

    There are so many ways to move toward health and healing, and this space is welcoming of them all.

  • Spiritual, Not Religious.

    While I identify as a deconstructing, radically LGBTQ+ affirming Christian, in this course, all expressions of faith are welcome. We will need the benefits that come with opening up to a higher power.

    Lisa Miller says it well; “Spirituality is a necessary human capacity that exists in every person through which we experience love and connection, unity and sense of guidance from and dialogue with life.”

Worried it’s not actually going to change anything?

Parenting a strong-willed child could bring anyone to their knees. There is so much opportunity to turn this struggle into the most significant growth of your life, even if your child doesn't change at all. Time and time again, I witness that when a parent does the work to become more grounded and confident, her child will pick up on that energy and shift as well.

Worried your partner won’t be on board?

It’s understandable if your partner is suspicious of the effectiveness of gentle parenting, especially if they themselves weren't raised with respect and tenderness. Thankfully, it only takes one person in a family to change their behavior for the impact to be felt on the entire group. This course will be your oxygen mask that helps everyone breathe better.

Your partner is welcome to watch all the prerecorded content.

And for the first cohort ever… I’ve recorded a 3 minute video that summarizing the topics for each week. You text the link to your partner so they can track with your curriculum journey. I even share supprotive questions they can ask you.

Worried your child is legitimately too challenging to fix?

This course is not designed to replace medical assistance or an official diagnosis. This is the first step for a family struggling with a difficult to parent child or additional support for those also pursuing clinical help. This class primarily serves you as the parent, regardless of your child’s unique challenges.

What if it was possible… to feel proud of how you parent rather than constantly worried you are getting it wrong?

Imagine the future…

  • You stay calm & cool.

    Your Spicy One just had a 5-alarm tantrum but you stayed calm and cool. In fact, you snuggled together using breathing and your warm presence. You are proud of how you didn't let their upset become your upset. Your child puts their hand in yours, looks in your eyes and says “you always make everything better.”

  • You model healthy conflict.

    Your young adult child sparkles out in the world, getting the first job of their dreams, winning over other adults and pursuing their passions. Their friendships are robust and healthy, and they even take a selfie with you once in a while. They know how to engage in healthy conflict because you’ve modeled it over and over again.

  • You are their safe place.

    Your adult child comes home often just to be with you. They seek you out for advice because you are their safe person. They are eager to offer you an intimate peek into their wild and wonderful life, because they know you love them for exactly who they are.

“If you're ready to do some soul-stretching work on yourself & take the time to look at the big picture of your family, THIS IS YOUR COURSE! Mary has a gift of bringing out the best parts of who you are as a mother & helping you shine!”

— Alicia P., Fall 2022

  • Moms of Spicy Ones® is about to begin...

    Will you join us?

    Alison B. says: “I'm so grateful to feel able to enjoy and celebrate my child, who is so different than I am, instead of merely surviving our differences.”

    Purchase Now & Save $100

Frequently asked questions (FAQs):

  • You have a Spicy One™ if more than a few of these apply…

    • Feel things intensely and express themselves in big emotional outbursts (from rage to joyful screaming)

    • Possess a fierce drive for independence and doing it their own way

    • Choose to be completely true to themselves, not others

    • Seem unafraid to take up space or disappoint others (but feel outsized shame when corrected)

    • Powerfully negotiate with adults until they lose hope and melt down

    • Struggle to be consoled physically

    • Either exhibit a zest for life or complain that they don’t want to live anymore

    • Have energy to spare and tend to be moving all the time

    • Test as gifted in some ways but completely inept in others

    • Have a deep sense of justice (but are fine if they themselves break the rules)

    • Refuse to rest long in contentedness always wondering “what’s next”

    • Sometimes hurt folks unintentionally

    • Default to brutal honesty with powerful words that can wound or delight

    • Seem acutely aware of others’ feelings yet miss the social cues that peers are feeling disgruntled

    • Learn best through defiance and personally experienced failure (rather than parental guidance)

    • Share a silly subversive sense of humor (and dark misuse of toys)

    • Enjoys “poking the bear” or bothering other children in order to get a dramatic reaction and some sensory needs met

    • Play so competitively that they meltdown when they lose and/or refuse to play by the rules

    • Notice everything from how a chair was moved, to mom waking up in a bad mood

    • Prefer to direct the play of peers

    • Refuse to say “I love you” until they feel it

    • Are a change-maker, free spirit or innovator but rarely a follower

    But it also depends on your own unhealed need to control, your propensity to judge rather than accept, and the work you’ve done to articulate your own childhood.

    It depends if you are a Highly Sensitive Person or if you struggle with attention-related difficulties.

    It depends on how strong your fear of displeasing others is. We start to explore all of that in MOSO.

  • MOSO will take you anywhere from one hour to three hours a week depending on your ability to participate.

    For just one hour/week, you could watch the pre-recorded curriculum only and complete the self-reflection journal entries.

    If you can afford another hour, you could attend or watch the live coaching session on Tuesdays.

    If you were able to add a third hour, you could sign up for an accountability partner, and join the online community to make some friends.

  • Optional coaching calls are weekly on Tuesdays. You choose the ONE call a week that you need based on your most difficult child’s age.

    DATES FOR FALL WILL BE RELEASED CLOSER TO SEPTEMBER.

    All calls are recorded for those who are unable to attend.

    Call times are PST. All coaching calls are recorded and available to watch until 1 month after class ends.

    Note: you may attend only one group call per week but you may watch all recordings.

    Additionally, the weekly curriculum videos are released each Thursday. It’s recommended to watch them before the following Tuesday coaching call.

  • All parents can benefit from learning to parent their Spicy One well!

    This course is designed for two groups:

    Kids: parents of kids aged 2-10 and Teens: parents of kids 11 - 18.

    You will have to chose which group you want to participate with when it comes to coaching calls. Pick the child who takes the most energy to parent right now.

    Worried it’s too late?

    C.S. Lewis said it best, “You can’t go back and change the begining, but you can start where you are and change the ending”

  • Heck yes. I promise not to give you techniques that assume you have a village supporting you or even someone who can watch your child while you shower!

    All material can be consumed a-synchronistically to work with the meager free time you have to learn. Plus, you can request that your accountability partner is also a single mom (if that feels critical for someone to be a suportive listener for you).

  • Yes. You are invited to watch all the recorded curriculum and recordings of coaching calls with your co-parent.

    No extra purchase is required.

    Plus I have a weekly “Attention: Dads!” 3 minute video to alert partners, unable to invest the time to watch, to what topics we are covering in that week. The “Attention Dads” videos include supportive questions they can ask you.

    There will also be an optional Dads of Spicy Ones Check in Zoom on Wednesday, May 1 at 6pm PST. A therapist and fellow dad will be joining to co-facilitate. No moms needed on this call.

    Please note: Only one mom per family will have access to an accountability partner and get to attend the live coaching calls. Those calls can be emotional and need to stay a private safe space with no spectators.

  • Nope. While I personally identify as a deconstructing, radically affirming Christian, no religious affiliation is explored or communicated in this course. I believe Moms of Spicy Ones need the benefits that come with opening up to a higher power, but how you define that is up to you.

    Lisa Miller wisely says, “Spirituality is a necessary human capacity that exists in every person through which we experience love and connection, unity and sense of guidance from and dialogue with life.”

  • The 8 weeks of MOSO pre-recorded weekly curriculum and self-reflection journals are yours forever.

    The recordings of the LIVE coaching session (from Tuesdays) are kept on-line for 1 month after class ends. After that, they are moved behind the Spicy Ones Society membership wall to protect constantly shifting mammas! No one needs to have their BEFORE moments memorialized forever.

    The optional accountability partner might become a friend for life. The online community ends after 8 weeks (unless you decide to join the graduates membership called Spicy One Society).

    Please note: Bonus access to Tweens & Teens , Kind: Gentle Parenting 101 and Calm is only available for 2 months (through the duration of the live course).

  • Because the course is a digital product that is immediately accessible, to be eligible for a refund, you must NOT have accessed any of the course modules.

    Additionally, refund requests must be received within fourteen (14) days of purchasing the course to be considered.

    Vulnerability and authenticity are core values of the MOSO community. Therefore, I put a lot of effort into an accurate representation of the course experience. I am happy to answer any questions in advance of purchase.

    Thank you for understanding.

Have further questions? Send the team an email here.

“I'm so grateful for the teaching to watch at my own pace, and for the in-real-time connections. I had a fabulous accountability partner and really appreciated the live coaching calls. Thank you so much for this work! MOSO™ has been a huge gift to me and my family.” 

—Alison B.., Fall 2022